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Simple Mistakes People Make Online Dating

There is a certain art to online dating. From composing your bio, to selecting the right pictures, to setting the right match criteria for you, it can be a daunting task, which is why so many people are hesitant to sign up for it. But even after 1,000 rejections, all it takes is one connection to make it all worthwhile.

Though it may take some trial and error to get your online dating profile just right, there are some extremely simple (and common) mistakes that you should do your best to avoid. Here are a few:


While online dating, you might be tempted to exaggerate on aspects of yourself to make you seem more appealing to someone. Unfortunately, the internet makes it easy to do so whilst hiding behind a computer. It's not worth it. Sooner or later, the truth will reveal itself. Whatever you are looking for while online dating - be it something casual, or long-term – you should be honest with the people you converse with about yourself. If they won’t accept you, flaws and all, they aren’t worth your time.

Spelling and grammar

Okay, not everyone is a master wordsmith. However, the reality is that a poor grasp of your language can be a huge turn-off online. You may think it shows how casual and carefree you are, but it shows how lazy you are that you can't run your writing through a word processor. Spelling and grammar count. Even if you intentionally abbreviate words or use slang (i.e. "u" or "btw") in your everyday life, try to refrain from it when writing your bio, as well as when sending messages to new people.

"Hi. How are you?" as a conversation starter

Come on. You know you're better than that. Don't be shy. The best thing you can do in this situation is find something on the other person's profile that you have in common, or found genuinely interesting, and lead off with that. The person on the other end of that chat might receive a "Hi, how are you?" message on a daily basis. Stand out from the mundane.

A picture with you and someone of the opposite gender

When a potential match is browsing through your photos, and finds one of just you and someone of the opposite gender, it sends a confusing message. Is this person your ex (I sincerely hope not)? A close friend? A cousin? It doesn't matter. Chances are the person browsing your profile will move on as opposed to ask.

Persistent messaging

Scenario - you start a conversation, and you think it's going great. Then, out of the blue, the person doesn't respond to your latest message. You follow up, and still, they do not reply. What happened?! Look, people are busy. Between work, family, friends, hobbies, outings, volunteering, exercise, and sleep, it might be tricky to respond to a message right away. Don’t follow up again and again and again. Have patience, young grasshopper. Give them the chance to reply. Distract your worries by starting conversations with other matches. If you message one person persistently without a response, you will scare them into blocking you when there may have been a perfectly reasonable explanation for their radio silence.

Not subscribing

Online dating is an investment of time, mental energy, and money. For most, it's difficult to shell out the money on anything non-essential. But the truth of the matter is that if you are serious about finding someone online, it's important to sign up for a premium subscription. Furthermore, anyone that sees you as a paying member knows you are serious about forming a meaningful connection. So, dig for coins between the couch cushions, forego the Starbucks coffee, and put the money towards a paid online dating subscription.

What are some mistakes you see people make while online dating? Let us know in the comments.

Michael Fromm, August 6, 2018

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