If you're in a committed relationship, occasionally getting into an argument with your partner is inevitable. Everyone argues, but it's how you handle the argument that matters. These 10 tips will help you stop arguing and start loving.
1. Find out why you're arguing
If you find you argue frequently with your partner, it can be a good idea to think about what's really causing the conflict. This could be something like financial problems, work pressure or spending less time together. Figure out which part of the relationship frustrates or worries you. Looking at the wider context of the situation will lead you to the bottom of what's going on.
2. Don't criticize your partner or get defensive
It's okay to complain as long as you don't allow the complaining to turn into criticism. For example, you want to let your boyfriend know that you're upset, because you don't travel very often. Don't blame him for this problem by telling him he's busy or doesn't care about your interests.
Always be specific when explaining what makes you upset. Let your partner know that you are unhappy, but don't make it their fault.
- If your behavior made your partner feel emotional, try to use touch and humor to cool down your partner
- If you feel the argument is not over, finish it later when things have calmed down
- When your temper flares up, be silent until you feel calmer and have thought it through
- Weigh your partner's position before defending yours to find a solution
- Swearing can be a red flag in your relationship -- especially if your partner finds cursing upsetting
When you're arguing with your significant other, your goal should be to sort out the disagreement, not to exacerbate the problem.
3. Listen and understand your partner
If you want to avoid future conflicts with your partner, take the time to hear them out. They may have an entirely different perspective. You'll need to understand their point-of-view if you want to get to the root of the problem. Justify the other person's feelings, so they feel heard.
Respect your partner if they get emotional during an argument. Don't multi-task. Show them respect they deserve by sitting down together and discussing what's going wrong. Focusing on your partner in this way will help you remember that you love this person and want to go back to being happy together.
4. Take a break and imagine your life without your partner
If you don't want to say something you'll regret, walk away and take a break. Head to separate rooms and chill out by listening to music or reading a book. If you want to save your relationship and end your never-ending arguments, think about how your life would be without your partner. This will help you realize how important the relationship is to you.
Do you remember the cute little things that you did to impress your partner at the beginning of your relationship? The innocent flirting, the long drives, the romantic dates? Remind yourself of these memorable moments to mellow out.
5. Negotiate and compromise
Everyone knows that relationships require compromise. Both of you want to move past the argument, so humbly ask forgiveness and apologize them properly. Even if you don't feel like the argument was your fault, you should still apologize for escalating the rift.
The key to a successful relationship is how you handle the aftermath of an inevitable argument. Those who handle fights with honesty, respect and love are more successful and happier in their relationships.