When you are in a love-hate relationship, it becomes more of a struggle to keep going. One day you find yourself head over heels in love with your partner while the very next day you can't stand them. It’s emotionally exhausting and chaotic to be in such a situation when you are not sure whether you love a person or hate them. You are in a constant state of dilemma whereby you can’t seem to understand what you actually want from the relationship.
If you relate to this situation, you may want to talk it out with your partner. To know more, read about the signs of a love-hate relationship and ways to fix it.
Love-hate relationship meaning
A love-hate relationship entails that as a couple, you and your partner are not sure of where things are heading. You fail to settle on one feeling between love and hate. It’s a mix of strong emotions which is not healthy for your mental well-being. Although it’s normal for couples to go through ups and downs, a love-hate relationship is more of a swing from one extreme end of your emotional spectrum to another.
Signs of a love-hate relationship and finding a fix
While it’s common to be in a love-hate relationship, people may often mistake their situation as a simple hurdle on their journey of togetherness. To make sure that you address the problem at the right time, here are some signs that will tell you if you are in a love-hate relationship with your significant other and how to find the fix:
1. Breaking up and making up cycle
If you are breaking up and making up with your partner again and again, it’s a classic sign of a love-hate relationship. One day you convince yourself that you two are better off without each other but soon you crawl back to each other in the hope that things will be different somehow.
How to fix it
This is indicative of a toxic relationship and you need to come to terms with the fact that you two may not be made for each other. No matter how much you try, making up with your ex will not change anything. They will still be the same person you broke off with. So, identify the sign and do what’s right for you. Don’t go through the emotional rollercoaster again and again.
2. Experiencing extreme emotions
You really love some parts of their personality and feel lucky to be with them but also hate them for their shortcomings. Instead of discussing each other’s faults you two yell at each other and play the blame game. This leads to a big fight and neither of you want to listen to the other’s perspective. The two of you end up feeling that the other is not doing enough for the relationship.
How to fix it
Everyone has a negative and positive side but when you are in a relationship, you tend to accept the person for who they are. You understand their flaws, try to make them better, and in return, they do the same for you. When you don’t love someone truly, you’ll not be able to forgo their bad side. And if that’s the case, you must definitely end things and move on.
3. Being caught up with unresolved issues
Your relationship lacks effective communication and there are a lot of unresolved issues that you simply choose to ignore. There are certain topics that you never discuss with each other because that will force you to open up and reveal your true feelings which seems scary for the relationship. So, instead of addressing the elephant in the room, you hide your feelings and go on with life assuming that everything will be fine on its own.
How to fix it
If you are unable to discuss certain things with your partner, the relationship isn’t as healthy as it should be. Despite the chances of an argument and sour feelings, a couple should be able to get past the differences and conflicts through a mature conversation. It is possible for two people having different views to respect each other’s opinion and still be able to fall in love without taking any offence.
4. Lack of a meaningful connection
If you and your partner only find each other attractive for superficial aspects like your economic status and good looks, something’s quite not right. A love-hate relationship is devoid of passion, romance, and emotional intensity. It makes you focus on things like wondering how good you two look with each other rather than paying attention to finding a meaningful connection.
How to fix it
Love is meant to connect you with the other person’s soul, so they know what’s going on in your head without you saying a word. It’s supposed to be the language of silence where you two can be yourself while being together. Try to be transparent and honest with them. Look deep into their eyes and find a medium to connect with their inner self. Don’t pay undue attention to their physical traits.
5. Pretending things for the outside world
When you are in a love-hate relationship you are majorly concerned about what the world thinks about you two as a couple. You act differently in front of the outside world and try hard to appear much in love. You also resort to displaying your affection on social media hoping to set relationship goals for couples that you hang out with.
How to fix it
You don’t need to pretend how much you love your partner as long as your feelings are genuine. Showing off your intimate moments on internet will not ensure a happy relationship. You don’t have to seek anybody’s validation on how you and your partner are carrying on the relationship or how good your chemistry is. Don’t bother about other’s opinion of you and be honest with your partner. If it’s not working out, better call it quits instead of pretending that everything is fine.