Dating Tips > Casual > Top 5 Signs You're "On the Hook"

Top 5 Signs You're "On the Hook"

Has this ever happened to you? You're talking to someone you're interested in, and they express interest back. But when you try to make plans with them, they sound disinterested, take a long time to reply or even ghost you. It feels as if they are stringing you along without any sign of commitment and that they are only available when it's convenient for them.

Are you on the hook?

Maybe they're already in a relationship and keeping you around as backup for if the relationship falls through, or they are interested in you but still shopping around. Nevertheless, you keep yourself available, because the chance of being in a relationship with this person is so tempting that it keeps you coming back.

This is what is commonly referred to as being "on the hook."  

Being hooked can be disheartening and emotionally tiring, so it's helpful to know when you're on the hook.

When you push away, they pull you back in

The biggest sign that someone is keeping you on the hook is that you can't seem to get off the hook. Every time you make the decision to confront them about where your relationship is heading, they tell you how they're not ready for a relationship right now -- but that they don't want to lose you. This is most evident when you try to push away.

They normally dodge any conversation about feelings and keep the status of your relationship vague. Yet when you try to push away, they admit that they have feelings for you and need you in their life.

They cancel…a lot

While it can be discouraging to get canceled on last minute, it's understandable that life happens. However, if they are constantly canceling plans and making promises they can't keep, they are most likely just trying to keep you interested without the follow-through.

They'll stand you up and later text you saying how sorry they were, giving an elaborate excuse as to why they couldn't come. This makes you feel better for getting stood up, but also further solidifies your status as being on the hook.

They text you when they're bored

Someone that's genuinely interested in you will usually try their best to keep a dialogue going. A huge indicator that someone is keeping you on the hook is if they only text you at inconvenient times (for you).

Ask yourself if they only text you when they're at work or because they can't sleep at night. That's not them taking time out of their day to see how you're doing -- that's just them using you to fill the space.

They don't answer all the time

Along with them only texting you when it's convenient, they also only seem to answer when it's convenient. You can message them and not hear back for days or weeks. But when they do reply, they will say they're a bad texter or that they never saw your message.

Intermittent responses might be a sign that they don't really want to talk to you but expect to be there when they do.

Nothing is defined

The status of your relationship (if you can even call it that) seems vague and undefined. You may have even been on a few dates, but there really isn't a label for the connection. They might say that they like you but aren't ready for a relationship to give you hope that something might happen eventually.

Contributor, November 12, 2018

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