When people enter a new relationship, they can be afraid. They protect themselves from feeling vulnerable by shutting down and withdrawing.
If you don't give yourself fully to a relationship, you won't get anything from it. The romance will weaken considerably until the couple feels totally disconnected. Here are some small things that can sabotage a relationship.
1. Unreliability
A good partner can be described in various ways, but reliable is always a top trait. Reliability is how you build trust with others. Even if it's something as small as a dinner reservation, respect it. Each time you let your partner down, you're proving that you're not trustworthy, and that's never a good quality to have.
2. Lack of attention
While your partner is conversing with you, you need to listen. You can't be half tuned in, responding to a message on your phone or watching the television screen behind them. Regardless of whether or not you're trying to be rude, you're showing your partner that whatever else you're doing is more important than whatever they are sharing.
3. A closed mind
Communication is important during all stages of a relationship. When you first fall in love, you tend to be open to new things. However, when you get comfortable, your mind narrows and closes itself off to new experiences. You may become more automatic in our responses. It hurts your relationship when you stop being free and open to new shared interests. Don't limit your partner.
4. Deception
You can make each other insane when your words and actions fail to match. Unfortunately, deception and duplicity are common in relationships. There are a lot of ways people say one thing and do another.
Examples include:
- Saying "I truly love you," but ignoring your partner in public
- Saying "I want to be close to you," then constantly making plans without them
- Saying "I'm not interested in other people," but flirting with everyone nearby
If you really love someone, put your love in action.
5. Comparisons
Comparing your relationship with others, especially ones you've had with previous partners, is a dangerous game. If you're comparing yourself to your partner's ex, you're sabotaging the relationship you're in. Focus on the present, and let the past go to build something strong with your current partner.
Many of us make the mistake of expecting our partner to read our minds and know what we want, which only leads to disappointment. It's important to say what we want without trying to control a situation. Directness is the best way to maintain an honest and authentic connection.