We've all been there... a huge crush on someone that doesn't know we exist, where all we can do is admire them from afar. With the advent of social media channels and online dating, what it means to "admire from afar" has dramatically changed. Modern technology allows us a window into the personal lives of strangers.
The act of finding love has evolved into something much different from it was before dating apps. It's easier now to blur the lines between showing interest and stalking online when you constantly like someone's posts. Do you know how to stop yourself from becoming a stalker?
Stalking through social media
Everyone has a digital footprint. Whether it's Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or SnapChat, checking a person's social media channels falls on the edge of stalking. It's become quite common for people to look up their crush's profiles. And before a first date, people tend to research who exactly they are going on a date. You'll look for:
- Where have they been?
- What have they accomplished?
- What are their likes and dislikes?
Cursory research is good, because it prepares you for the date and can help you start a conversation. Constant checking, however, is stalking, and it may cause you to say something wrong on the date. Mentioning you saw their picture from three or four years ago will tell the other person how long you spent checking out their online persona.
Be careful about the amount of time you spend on their social media pages. If you find yourself scrolling through photos for hours on end, you've reached stalker territory. Although you may have the urge to know what your crush is doing at all times, this will do more harm than good.
Face-to-face stalking
There are many times when we have a situational crush -- someone we don't really know personally but see at a certain place and time. You might seem them in a class, at the office or on the train ride home. These kinds of situations make it easy to become a stalker.
Getting to know someone face-to-face creates an increased emotional connection. This is what it's always better to meet in person, where you can look into their eyes and gauge their interest. If have the chance to talk to your crush in person, do it.
However, going extremely out of your way is borderline stalking. For example, you should refrain from:
- Switching into your crush's class
- Taking a different train home to follow your crush
- Applying to a place your crush works that has nothing to do with your career
Everyone has crushes throughout their lifetime. It's normal and wonderful, but it should never change who you are. Love will come naturally into our lives when it's mean to happen, so don't try and force something.