A relationship is like a journey with several milestones when en route. Your first message, your first date, your first kiss... As time moves on, you keep clearing milestones. Eventually, you wonder if it's time to move in together.
There's nothing wrong with moving in with your beloved partner, but the timing is key. We recommend that you analyze the exact status of the relationship and get a good grasp of what the other person wants in the future. You will be seeing each other more than ever before, and everything you do will affect your partner. Living together comes with situations that can become sticky really quickly. If you don't see a future for the relationship, is it really wise to move in together?
Consider the following things before looking for a new place together:
Are you an exclusive couple?
You should be serious enough about the relationship to be dating exclusively. You should have no issues putting a "title" on the relationship, and you should have met each other's family and friends.
Do you have a future together?
You must talk about the future -- your goals, your wants, your needs... whether you want to get married and have children or not. Moving in usually means you're starting the path to spending the rest of your life together, so talk about it first.
It's very natural for a person to feel nervous, but the feeling of excitement is equally crucial. If you're more nervous than excited about the impending turn of events, you should probably keep it on hold. Needless to say, both partners must be at the same place in the relationship before make this commitment.
If you are not ready to make the big decision yet, don't take the plunge. There's no rush to start forever if you're not ready. Life will only move as fast as you allow it to.
Is it only about the money?
Moving in shouldn't be solely about a cheap way to live. If you want to live with your partner, there should be bigger reasons behind such a big step. Living together undoubtedly helps a great deal in saving money as the expenses are shared between two people. However, it's more logical to live together if you really see yourself spending thre rest of your life with that person.
You need to talk finances if you're thinking about moving in together. There will be a lot of bills to pay -- gas, electric, water, sewage, cable, garbage, etc. Will you split things equally? Is the financial breakup of the apartment affordable for you? Are you ready to take the burden of managing your own finances, paying bills on time, and saving up? While it is fun to play house with the one you love, it's not fun to be homeless and broke -- even if it's with your partner.
Are you good at handling conflict?
If the two of you are pros at handling serious fights and dealing with conflicts on a regular basis, moving in shouldn't be a problem. However, if you hardly ever resolve your issues or if you haven't spent enough time together to know about possible clashes, it may create a lot of ruckus and unhealthy fighting. If you bicker nonstop before you move in together, then you may end up making the entire experience a nightmare. If that's the case, take a step back and give the relationship time to mature before this leap.
Do you enjoy your personal space?
Would you rather spend time by yourself than with your partner? If you are a person who loves your personal space, think twice before moving in with anyone. Living together doesn't only imply the sharing of belongings but sharing your time.
We're not saying you have to spend every waking moment together -- in fact that's not healthy either. Two people moving in together must be really understanding and compatible enough to sense other person's need for personal space. When you are in a live-in relationship, you need to respect each other's boundaries. Spend equal time with and without each other and find a happy medium.
Other tips for moving in together
- Be honest: If your partner has a bad habit such as excessive drinking or chain smoking, sit down with them and have a serious talk about their unhealthy habits. If they're super messy or expect you to cook every meal, you should know that ahead of time. It will only cause conflict down the road.
- Don't be coerced: You must both agree and want to move in together without the use of guilt trips. A roommate can help them with the financial burden if need be.
- It won't fix anything: Moving in with someone isn't going to fix problems you have in your relationship. You might temporarily fix your problem, but you'll eventually need to address it.
Moving in together often turns out to be a pivotal point in a couple's lives together. It either tells them they are meant to be or makes them realize that they aren't compatible. As they say, know your battles before you fight them.