Trust is both the foundation and the backbone of all healthy relationships. Without it, you lack stability. This insecurity grows until it overshadows every other feeling. You may even find yourself unable to overcome it.
Trust is a choice, and it's important for a partner to be supportive. Loyalty requires more than faithfulness. It's a commitment based on honesty and appreciation. You should be able to share thoughts and opinions freely and openly. Once trust is compromised, it's hard to regain. It affects the way we see the other person and how we react to certain situations.
When you're hurt in a previous relationship, you build walls to protect yourself from going through the same sort of pain. This only perpetuates the problem. And while you may save yourself from one kind of disappointment, you're still setting yourself up for a different kind of suffering.
Not everyone deserves your trust, but the right person will cherish and honor your connection. Don't let your fear of abandonment keep you from finding the right person... just keep in mind that trust should be earned. So, how will you know if your partner is dependable?
Take our quiz to determine their reliability.
1. Does your partner have any major skeletons hiding in the closet?
a) Yes. (He/she cheated in a previous relationship or was emotionally/physically abusive.)
b) Nothing major - we all have things we need to work on!
c) I'm not sure. He/she doesn't really talk about the past, and I don't know much about previous relationships.
2. How comfortable is your partner telling lies?
a) Very... he/she lies all the time about things like where he/she was or that his/her phone died.
b) He/she only tells white lies to make me feel better.
c) I can't tell when he/she is lying.
3. What does your intuition say?
a) He/she can't be trusted.
b) He/she is very loyal.
c) I'm not sure.
4. Does your partner seem secretive?
a) Yes.
b) No.
c) Sometimes.
5. Do things always add up?
a) No, his/her story always changes.
b) Yes, there has never been a red flag.
c) Sometimes, his/her timeline seems off.
6. Is your partner supportive?
a) No, I feel like we're always at odds.
b) Yes, he/she is my rock.
c) Not yet, but I think he/she can be in the future.
7. Does your partner withhold information from you?
a) Yes, he/she intentionally doesn't tell me things.
b) No, he/she is an open book.
c) I think he/she might not realize that I don't know the whole story.
8. Does your partner have your best interest at heart?
a) He/she takes care of him/herself first.
b) Yes, he/she always puts me first.
c) It depends on the situation.
How did you answer?
MOSTLY As:
It's time to call it quits. Do not trust this person! This shady cheater is keeping you in the dark. There's a reason why they aren't telling you about their past. If you've caught them telling lies, it will only get worse from here. Trust your gut. Ask yourself why they're keeping secrets or withholding information. Don't wait until the lies stop adding up. You deserve someone who will be around to support you.
MOSTLY Bs:
Congrats! It seems like you found a person you can really trust. They've told you all about their past mistakes -- no matter how embarassing. They are compassionate, respectful, and successfully communicate. You know that they won't run from the big challenges. They seem to be willing to work through issues that arise to the best of their ability. If the relationship does not work out, it's due to incompatibility rather than infidelity.
MOSTLY Cs:
Either you're lying to yourself about this person, or you just met and don't know much about them. Give it some time and take this quiz again.