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8 Things to Understand When Dating an Extrovert

If you're an introvert dating an extrovert, you're probably learning a lot about how unlike the two of you are. Instead of getting frustrated with these differences, it's important to understand and accept them to move forward in your relationship. Here are some ways to understand what extroverts all are about.

8 things to understand when dating an extrovert

1. They like to converse with others

When you're dating an extrovert, be prepared to get called a lot and texted for most of the day. This might be tough for you as an introvert who doesn't answer the phone at all when you're feeling overwhelmed. Just because you are less talkative and enjoy the silence doesn't mean your partner does. While you stay quiet unless you have something worthwhile to say, your partner probably doesn't feel comfortable with long pauses or silence.

They like to be social. But just because they're social and responsive, it doesn't mean they're needy. It's easy to mistake this incessant need to talk as them being clingy, but they just see this as a normal amount of interaction.  

2. They love to try new things

Extroverts always focus on stimulating and exciting activities. You'll capture their attention by going on dates to places they've never been before. Take your partner for a hike and check out that new ethnic resturant that just opened. Unlike introverts, extroverts aren't scared by something new. They're not afraid by their lack of experience. So if you want to impress your extroverted date, take them somewhere you're an expert, and they're a novice.

3. They like to spend a lot of time with friends

While you might prefer interacting primarily with your extroverted partner, they like to spend their alone time with friends. Even if you're extremely important to them, they won't break off their friendships entirely for your sake. Remember that this is a good thing. It gives you space to focus on your own interests, hobbies and passion. You can recharge while your partner feeds off the energy of their buddies. It can be easy to get jealous of friends but don't give into that temptation. This happens to be exactly what both of you need.

4. They can't read your mind

Hoping your extroverted significant other will read your mind will only lead to the both of you becoming extremely frustrated. Extroverts are not quiet or subtle listeners; they are talkers who understand others through speech. They say what they think, and they expect others to be as clear and direct as they are. If your partner is asking you something or trying to communicate with you, you need to be just as straightforward. Extroverts have trouble picking up on hints and don't like mind games. They just want you to be totally honest. 

5. They can easily connect with others

As an introvert, this is not your strength. Meeting someone new and instantly having a flow of communication with them can be a struggle. If your partner can easily connect with others, let it meant to complement your weakness. Don't let yourself feel resentful of their proficiency at connecting with the others around them. They can help in situations where you need to network. A loving partner will be the meeting point and do the small talk on your behalf. 

6. They love being around other people

As an introvert, you might feel insulted or upset if your extroverted partner is always inviting others along whenever you make plans. You might feel unloved and think they don't want to have alone time. The fact is that extroverts just love to be surrounded by people. Their philosophy is "the more the merrier." They invite others, because they enjoy being part of a large group -- not because they don't want to be alone with you.

7. They always seem to be flirting

Since an extrovert likes talking to people, their friendliness can sometimes be misinterpreted. If you trust your partner and feel stable in your relationship, remember that's all it is. They just have a bubbly personality and talk to everyone with the same warmth and affection -- from the waiter at the dinner to your 80-year-old grandmother.

8. They're adaptable

They go with the flow and will adjust easily to whatever the situation calls for. When your relatives show up unexpectedly for the weekend, they will play tour guide and happily tag along to the places that your relatives want to go to. If your friends want to go out to the club, they're on the dance floor with a drink in hand. Whatever you need them to be, they can be.

 

Contributor, May 1, 2019